The Beautiful Recovery

Just the ramblings of a girl called Erin on the long and bumpy road to a beautiful recovery

Anonymous asked: I recently made an appointment with the student psychologist to talk about my food issues and that I may have an eating disorder. I'm relieved but also quite scared, I feel so alone in this, and I don't know if I'm ready to talk about it. any advice?

Be as open and as honest as you possibly can, they will not be judging you because they see a variety of different people with different issues and areas of concern, nothing you say will shock or disgust them, they just want to get you the best help possible!

Remember you are worth recovery and these are experts who have studied for many years so they know their stuff

Big hugs and be proud of yourself for seeking help, that is really brave of you xxx

Anonymous asked: From anonymous about telling mum I told her and I was like I saw the school nurse today and she was like okay why and I was like I've just not been feeling myself recently and I went to get some help before exams and stuff and she was like that's good so dobyou want me to take you to camhs and vision and I was yeah please

That is brilliant! I am so incredibly proud of you lovely because you have been so incredibly brave x big hugs and lots of luck x Erin xxx

Anonymous asked: You are so so kind and so so beautiful and ughh just thank you for existing xxxxxxx

Thank you! You are too kind to me xxx

Anonymous asked: Hi can you say please what happened when you went to hospital because I am going in soon xx thanks I am really scared I am 15 xx

Hi love, it is terrifying when you first go in because you don’t really know what to expect and you tend to imagine it 100x in your head.

Typically you would only be there for a night or two (I myself was there for six weeks but that was because they couldn’t get my pulse or bp up enough to deem me safe) and they usually decide to put an NG tube down you to try and help you get enough calories to help your body repair itself and they will give you normal food too which you are expected to eat and I honestly recommend doing so because you are only going to make things harder on yourself because they will just increase the amount of calories that you will be taking in through the NG tube

I personally never got tube fed but my friend has and said that it is a bit uncomfortable but not painful so don’t worry about anything like that! They will probably check your bloods daily just to make sure that everything is okay and you are reacting well to increasing your intake (if you don’t like needles then ask for emla cream, it is a numbing agent and works absolute wonders and make sure that you are well hydrated so that it will only take one try)

Nurses will normally sit with you at meals to check that you are eating it all and offer support if you need it

I was 16 when I got admitted to hospital and I was so scared, everything finally became real but I know that without it I would be dead so try and let the doctors do their job and don’t resist x

If you need anything more specific then just send me a message xxx

Anonymous asked: How should I try and tell my mum that I need some mental help ? I talked with the school nurse and she said I have two options and that I should talk about it with my mum but I don't know how to bring it up in convocation please help

Hi love, you are really brave and should be very proud of yourself, no onto the advice!

I would perhaps start by sitting down with her and saying ‘mum, I have really been struggling for a while. I have been trying to hide it so as not to worry you but I can’t do that any longer and I just need to get this out and tell you because I really need your help, love and support.

Over the past (however long) I have started feeling bad, like really bad about myself and I have started acting on these thoughts (whatever behaviours) and I am scared. Really scared.

I love you, can you please help me get help?

Let me know how you get on lovely and I hope that this was some help

Erin xxx


I’m just so emotionally attached to a lot of the people I follow. Like, I might not even talk to you, but I’ll see your little icon and url pop up on my dash and I’ll just stare at it and smile and be like: friend.

(via thoughtsofalonglostprincess)

You didn’t just lose weight.
The weight was incomparable.
Incomparable to the hair,
The bone density and the passion.
Incomparable to the smile on your face and the glimmer in your eyes.
Totally irrelevant, in comparison to the nails and the teeth; even the nutrients in your blood slowly wasted away until your heart could barely beat.
That little heart kept fighting, for you, though.
It struggled on beat by beat and so should you.
Why? Because there’s no adulation in anorexia.
There’s no congratulations or looks of admiration. There are just blank stares from the people who once knew you, looking at your broken shell.
There’s no fucking medal or badge of honour. It’s not impressive.
But what is impressive? Standing tall, healthy and proud, saying ‘yes, I have anorexia nervosa. But it doesn’t have me anymore’.

—Remember what it took from you. (via untanglingamy)

Reminding myself of this.

(via untanglingamy)

(via untanglingamy)


i used to be a really smart kid who was “going places” but now i just cry a lot and eat all the food in the fridge

(via katieshappinessx)